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Silhouettes and Words
by MYRTON RUNNING WOLF
POKE-YOUR-HONTAS
A Love Story: Big Strong Prince Charming came to the savage forest, his name was John Smith. Little Pocahontas, age 9, was immediately filled with passion. Being a white Prince Charming, John Smith was captured and thrown onto a chopping block to have his head smashed into a zillion pieces. As he was brutally tossed about, John’s sword shot from between his legs. Noticing true love’s call, 9-year-old Pocahontas filled with hot-blooded courage and leapt spread-eagle onto big John Smith’s hairy chest while the stupid silly warriors looked on like baby deer, “fawns”, at the miraculous site. Love had saved the day. But now it would be called statutory.
INJUNS
Indianer, redbone, redskin, primitive, Caliban, darkies, red nigger, smoky, sly as an Indian, white savage, Indian peril, vanishing Indian, blanket ass, cigarstore Indian, Indian summer, save a bullet for your wife, bury the hatchet, the great white father, too many chiefs and not enough Indians, the Indian problem, chief, dog eater, teepee creeper, yahoo, drunken Indian, Indian burn, Indian scout, Minnehaha, Lost Tribe of Israel, give it back to the Indians, war pony, timber nigger, prairie nigger, tomahawk chop, witch doctor, wopahoes, I was an Indian in another life, Manifest Destiny, pesky redskins, off the reservation, kill the Indian to save the man, coyote, Californio, Manitos, breed, bloods, pure girl, rez bunnies, aimsters, red clay people, rabbit chasers, salmon smokers, bush dance, Skin Radio, apple: red on the outside white on the inside, uncle tomahawks, commodity Indian, road allowance people, corporate Indians, gallery Indians, Weekend warriors, put on your Indian, heya heya music, beaver scalpers, skindian, casino creepers, frybread eaters, buffalo jumpers, better red than dead, spiderwomen, buffalo hips, Init!, IHS, peyote eaters, flaming arrows, Columbus-cide, American Holocaust, You call it discovery, rehabilitated Indian, boarding school Indian, TV Indian, powwow highway, Paleo-Indians, original Americans, Native American, indigidude, Amerindian, and First Nations.
TECUMSEH MEETS THE PRESIDENT
When Chief Tecumseh met the “Great White Father” Governor William Henry Harrison, who would one day be President Harrison, two rival chiefs stood by Harrison’s side. Let’s call them Uncle Tomahawk 1 and Uncle Tomahawk 2. Tecumseh had upset the Uncle Toms … apologies, that was wrong and inappropriate … Tecumseh had upset the Uncles Tom because he told their warriors to kill them, since the Uncles had given away all their land to Harrison. Uncle Tom 1 swore he’d tell Tecumseh to shut the hell up, while Uncle Tom 2 carried two pistols to kill Tecumseh on site. However, instead of saying, “Good Day!” to the Governor, Tecumseh decided to choke a bitch; and in the commotion Uncle Tomahawk 2 shot himself in the face.
Myrton studied Performing Arts at the American Musical and Dramatic Academy, performed with the Juilliard School, received his Masters degree in film from the University of Southern California, and is currently a graduate student in Performance Studies at New YorkUniversity's Tisch School of the Arts. And, yes, he agrees he's hadway too much education. For more info. www.myspace.com/sacinaw
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